http://www.evealopalous.com/?ref=91417891

"In the beginning, (having recovered from creating Barnsley), God created Adam. And when Adam played with his thing, He createth Eve, for The Lord is a jealous God and it is an abomination unto him for a man to play with his thing as if it were a woman or God.

Then Eve did discover sexy underwear and Adam's thing, having already been tempted to discover her own disparity of size and function, and did inventeth penis envy. And God was pleased, for in as much Eve was displeased. Yet Eve did still have a trick up her wizard's sleeve and did play thereon. And verily God had a wet moment and blamed Eve.

And as they ignored God who satteth in the corner as He was a nob and even Angels had not enough charity to snog Him, God was unhappy. And thus he wenteth fucking ballistic when Eve found a girlfriend and Adam started to wear leather chaps.

So God smote them as he doesn't have a thing and he loves us."