I am the pirate who doesn't do anything
I just stay at home and lie around
And if you ask me to do anything
I'll just tell you I don’t do anything

Well I’ve never been to Greenland
And I've never been to Denver
And I’ve never buried treasure in St. Louie or St. Paul
And I’ve never been to Moscow
And I’ve never been to Tampa
And I’ve never been to Boston in the fall