Maestro Volpe, at your service. As a professional drinker, amateur walker, and aspiring underwater basketweaving enthusiast, I have tens of ones of skills to provide for any budding fleet or corporation looking for a specialist, a trained professional, or a daring ne'er-do-well. Along with my waning combat prowess, my skills include evasive talking, rapid muttering, butter-to-ham application, extreme dumpster diving, and trans-atlantic baby tossing. Also, I can type at over 90 expletives per minute.