Apparently you can’t use “beef stew” as a password.
It’s not stroganoff.

My uncle works for a company that makes bicycle wheels.
He’s the Spokesman.

How does the German baker greet his customers?
Gluten Morgen

I find the history of ship building riveting.

Bought a new muzzle for my pet duck the other day. Nothing fancy, but it fits the bill.

My wife’s leaving me because she thinks I’m obsessed with astronomy.
What planet is she on?


How do you kill a vegetarian vampire?
With a steak to the heart.

My friend David lost his ID...
Now I call him Dav.

What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
Outlaws are wanted.

Today's top fact:
50% of Canada is A

3.14% of sailors are pi-rates.


RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.

When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo I had to put my foot down.

What do you call a fake noodle?
An Impasta