A reading from the book of Armaments, Chapter
Two, verses Nine to Twenty-one.

And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on
high, saying,'O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade
that with it thou mayest blow thine enemies to
tiny bits in thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin,
and
the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths
and carp and anchovies and orangutans and
breakfast cereals and fruit bats. And the Lord
spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy
Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no
less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt
count,
and the number of the counting shall be three.
Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou
two, excepting that thou then proceed to three.
Five is right out. Once the number three, being
the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou
thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy
foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff
it.'
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