The Minmatar Ship Rant (Extended version)

A wise man once said that 'flying Minmatar is like riding an armchair down a flight of stairs firing an uzi.'
He's quite correct. Except that he forgot to entail that said armchair must be covered in rust, preferably have a sail or two, and most importantly; one uzi is nowhere near sufficient. Gonna need 5 or 6. Just strap 'em on with belts of ammunition, if they fall off, fuck it. They were out of ammo anyhow.
Also, that little stream behind my ship. 'It's the Ion stream from your propulsion exhaust ports.' Fuck you. It's empty shell casings and unburnt raw petrol from the half dozen V8 diesels running this heap of garbage. Get it right.