Born in a dumpster on April Fools.

His father unknown and presumed blind.

His mother a one legged prostitute named Pogo having wrapped her new born son in an already soiled nappy immediately hopped in front of a train.

The source of his name is unknown but may have something to do with his tendency to stab the other orphans with an electro-butter knife.

Quickly inherited his birth-right, granny mugging thug and was soon arrested in a sting on illegal Pezz smuggling.

Killed three men while in the joint, one beat to death with a ‘soap on a rope’, another drowned in 1 inch of soup (along with a bluebottle bystander) and the last bled to death from a prolapsed colon resulting from an atomic wedgie.

Three years after incarceration performed a daring escape that involved chewing off his own arms and fitting through the bars (though he did have some difficulty climbing the fence)

Sent a quick statement to the press stating that he was ‘armless