It is my responsibility to enforce all the laws
That haven't been passed yet
It is also my responsibility to alert each
And every one of you to the potential consequences
Of various ordinary everyday activities
You might be performing which could eventually lead to

The Death Penalty (or affect your parents' credit rating)

Our criminal institutions are full of little creeps
Like you who do wrong things...
And many of them were driven to these crimes
By a horrible force called music!

Our studies have shown that this horrible force
Is so dangerous to society at large that laws
Are being drawn up at this very moment to stop it forever!
Cruel and inhuman punishments are being carefully described
In tiny paragraphs so they won't conflict with the Constitution
(Which, itself, is being modified in order to accommodate the future)

I bring you now a special presentation
To show what can happen to you if you choose a career in music...