Squad Braised Cabbage

This shit will get you laid.

- 1 medium head of Red Cabbage
- 1 lb of Single Smoked Bacon
- 1 Small Onion
- 3 cloves of garlic
- Grainy Mustard
- Red Wine Vinegar
- Caraway seeds
- 1 Wheat beer of your choice.
- Butter
- Salt

1. Get your dutch oven out. if you don't have one I reccomend Le Crusset, oval. Don't be a btich go get one.
2. Put a lil olive oil in that bitch and chop up your bacon into little chunks. We're making Lar'don.
3. Crisp that shit up until is looks like the drippings of a fried chicken basket you ate last night over the sink like a rat.
4. Chop and add onion, Keep the onion in bigger slicers cause it's gonna cook for awhile and you don't want it to become a sad looking mush. Once you add the onions you can really start thinking about who the fuck you are as a person.
4a. Crush your garlic and chop it. Put that shit in with the onions. DONT BURN THE GARLIC YOU APE.
5. Add your butter and melt it. Like 4 tbsp of butter.
6. Add your Tablespoon of carraway Seeds.
7. Quarter the cabbage and cut each quarter in half. Cut into big chucks from there.
8. Once you onoins are cooked down and the seeds are toasting and releasing. Add your mustard and stir.
9 Add the cabbage to the pot. As much as you can fit. Mix it up.
10. Add a half a cup of Red wine vinegar.
11. Add 16oz of your favorite wheat beer, you can also use cider or red wine. What the fuck ever just use some sort of easy alchohol.
12. Your gonna reduce the heat and braise for an hour and a half.