This one time, I totally farted and it killed a humming bird that was buzzing around me. Another time, I was in an elevator and like, totally farted again. There was a large corporate restructuring afterwards, cuz like. They all totally died. The company sued me for negligent manslaughter or something. I was all like, "OY" ya'll can't sue me cuz I'm sueing yous jerkoffs for like, not having enough stamina to survive a fart. I mean yeah, so like I ate a buncha roach coach breakfast burritos that morning and chased it with rotten eggs, but MEBE that's what I like for breakfast.

So anyways...

This other time I met this fly honey. I was putting my mack down and dammit, my breakfast habits got me again. I tried to turn and run, but only managed to put her in my "backblast area". Sometimes I leave flowers next to her carbon shadow as that is all that remains.



My favorite color is 7... Godzilla is my dad.