I may look like a simple miner... but little do you know I am a master of MINING LASER FU! So while I look unarmed...I can, in all actuality, unload A BARRAGE OF HORRIBLE HORRIBLE PAIN upon your pirate ass by using only the traditional weapons of mining laser fu...the MIGHTY MINING LASER! So slag off before I harvest and reprocess your ass.

-Testuo, Self Proclaimed Master of Mining Laser Fu

P.S. YOU CAN'T STOP THE RAAAAAAGE!!!