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Universal Truths

1)Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.

2)One of the most awkward things that can happen in a Bar is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.

3)You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.

4)Reading when you're drunk is horrible.

5)Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.

6)Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.

7)There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something

8)You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.

9)Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.