Well, here's the short story

I was born in a tool shed on a loneley planet far away to a sheep herder and a flag seamstress. I didn't speak until I was four, partially due to a rare genetic condition of the vocal cords and partially because I really didn't have much to say. At the age of five, I entered the renowned Kindergarten of the Green Thumb and excelled in multivariable calculus. I was expelled for mistaking the sandbox for a litter box and myself for a cat.

As I was acutely aware of each tick of the clock on the detention room wall, the years passed slowly. In seventh grade I proved that a triangle was indeed a circle, and was immediately admitted to the Institute for Advanced Study in Tongofur. From there with luck on my side, I was admitted into the Drugstore of the Damned management training program.

After a terrible mixup in self-discoveration journal using expired medicine. Having only a few months left to live my adopted brother put me on the track of a Capsuleer