"I'm a reasonable guy. But, I've just experienced some very unreasonable things."

"Okay. You people sit tight, hold the fort and keep the home fires burnin'. And if we're not back by dawn.....call the president"

-Jack Burton


"If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull"

"W.C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. "I'm looking for a loop-hole," he explained'.

-W.C. Fields