The following is the transcript of an actual radio conversation in October 1995 between a U.S. Navy ship and the British authorities off the Scottish North coast.
BRITISH: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid collision.
U.S. NAVY: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.
BRITISH: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
U.S. NAVY: This is the Captain of U.S. Navy Ship, I say again, divert YOUR course.
BRITISH: Negative, I say again, you will have to divert your course.
U.S. NAVY: THIS IS THE CAPTAIN OF THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES ATLANTIC FLEET, WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY 3 DESTROYERS, 3 CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS, WE DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER MEASURES WILL BE USED.

BRITISH: We are a LIGHTHOUSE, SO FUCK OFF.