I used to sit naked in my mom's basement, slathered in vicks vapo rub tinted orange from Cheetoh dust, furiously masterbating to old issues of the Sear's Catalog and Boy's Life magazines.

Then I discovered Eve.

I learned that I was not alone, that there were other's like me, and that my hatred for these others was matched only by my hatred for myself. Thanks for listening.

Solo FTW.