I wash myself in the shower with Comet and steel wool. I scrape the stubble off my face with a Ka-Bar and use gasoline for aftershave. Then I comb my hair with a live wolverine.

I put crystal meth in my coffee. When I go to work, I chase down cars on foot, drag the drivers out, kill them, and then take their cars to work.

When I take a smoke break, I burn styrofoam and inhale the fumes.

When I go hunting, I just stare at the deer. They follow me home and climb into my freezer. Because they know. They know.