->Dear CCP Falcon,

It has come to the attention of myself and my fellow associates at the Bureau of Rodential Squeekywheels and Tibbytreats that you and your colleagues have not been paying enough attention to nourishing your pet hamsters. We recently sent in an under-cover agent named 'Fluffles' equipped with top of the line espionage equipment into your server environment to investigate concerns amongst the rodential employees that power your server equipment.
While you have the requisite number of Squeekywheels, many of the Hamsters are complaining that they are underfed, and as such are demanding a 50% pay increase in Tibbytreats delivered each hour. As of one hour ago, the Hamsters have begun strike action and are refusing to spin the squeekywheels that power your defences against ddos attacks. I strongly suggest you start feeding the Hamsters more delicious treats to boost their morale and to help facilitate their return to service.

->Send me coffee, or Fluffles gets it!