I make cakes to impress the ladies. Its not working out very well so I am blaming a combination of gluten and global warming. I would totally hit on you (no homo) but everyone knows girls don't play video games. If you think you see a girl, shot it! It is really a 45 year old man practicing his "have his way with you voice". No my friends, its a dangerous world out there and the best solution is to blame Bush because that fixes everything. Well I guess you could blame Canada but then someone will start singing and thats just too much happy right now.

Cheese is much better than a turtle. Turtles although possibly ninjas smell of rotting sulfer. Just kidding I don't know what sulfer smells like. So ya, to make a long story short you should read faster...