Rules to live by in Eve:
1. If it moves, shoot it.
2. If it doesn't move, poke it with your turret and then shoot it.
3. When in doubt -- Shoot It.!!
4. Overkill works.
5. Just because it breathes doesn't mean it should.
6. If all is going well its a ambush.
7. If it's not moving shoot it anyway, it might move later.
8. Always remember your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
9. If the enemy is in range, so are you.
10. Don't look conspicuous, it draws fire.
11. If it's stupid and it works, it ain't stupid.
12. When in doubt, empty your magazine.
13. The easy way is always mined.
14. Try to look unimportant, the enemy may be low on ammo.
15. Teamwork is essential, it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.
16. Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you.
17. Anything you do, can get you shot, including doing nothing.
18. The only thing more accurate than enemy incoming fire, is friendly incoming fire.

A wise man once said that...

Flying Minmatar ships is like riding an armchair down a flight of stairs while firing an uzi.

He's quite correct. Except that he forgot to entail that said armchair must be covered in rust, preferably have a sail or two, and most importantly; one uzi is nowhere near sufficient. You're gonna need 5 or 6. Just strap 'em on with belts of ammunition, if they fall off, stuff it. They were out of ammo anyhow.

Also, that little stream behind my ship... 'It's the Ion stream from your propulsion exhaust ports.' WRONG! It's empty shell casings and unburnt raw petrol from the half dozen V8 diesels running this heap of garbage. Get it right!