Whether you're laughing at me or with me, you're still laughing. I win.

There's no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole.

The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

I'm a bomb tech. If you see ME running, you should probably try and keep up.

As I lay in my bed at night looking up at the stars, I wonder: Where the HELL is my roof?!?!?!

An optimist sees the glass as half full. A pessimist sees it as half empty. I'm just standing here wondering who the heck drank half my beer.......

Remember this when choosing a hunting partner: You don't have to outrun the bear, just your partner.