Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I fly by again?


Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it.


My train of thought just ran off the track.


I didn't trip I was just testing gravity.....ya well it still works!


There are three sides to an argument, your side, my side, and the right side.


I am not retreating! I am advancing in a different direction!


I smile because I have no idea what is going on. -


I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.


The kids across the street challenged me to a water fight, so I'm currently boiling the water.


Last night I dream I was eating a giant marshmallow... When I woke up my pillow was gone


We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police