Some say the end is near.
Some say we'll see Armageddon soon.
Certainly hope we will.
I sure could use a vacation from this bullshit three-ring circus sideshow of freaks.

Here in this hopeless fucking hole we call New Eden.
The only way to fix it is to flush it all away.
Any fucking time. Any fucking day.
Learn to swim, see you down in Doomheim.

Fret for your figure
And fret for your latte
And fret for your lawsuit
And fret for your hairpiece
And fret for your Prozac
And fret for your pilot
And fret for your contract
And fret for your car.

It's a bullshit three-ring circus sideshow of freaks.

Here in this hopeless fucking hole we call New Eden.
The only way to fix it is to flush it all away.
Any fucking time. Any fucking day.
Learn to swim, see you down in Doomheim.

Some say a comet will fall from the sky.
Followed by meteor showers and tidal waves.
Followed by fault lines that cannot sit still.
Followed by millions of dumbfounded dip shits.

And some say the end is near.
Some say we'll see Armageddon soon.
Certainly hope we will
I sure could use a vacation from this stupid shit, silly shit, stupid shit.

One great big festering neon distraction,
I've a suggestion to keep you all occupied.

Learn to swim.
Learn to swim.
Learn to swim.

Mom's gonna fix it all soon.
Mom's comin' 'round to put it back the way it ought to be.

Learn to swim. [repeat]

Fuck Zarvox
And fuck all his clones.
Fuck all these gun-toting
Hip gangster wannabes.

Learn to swim. [repeat]

Fuck retro anything.
Fuck your tattoos.
Fuck all you junkies
And fuck your short memory.

Learn to swim. [repeat]

Fuck smiley glad-hands
With hidden agendas.
Fuck these dysfunctional
Insecure actresses.

Learn to swim. [repeat]

'Cause I'm praying for rain
I'm praying for tidal waves
I wanna see the ground give way.
I wanna watch it all go down.

Mom, please flush it all away.
I wanna see it go right in and down.
I wanna watch it go right in.
Watch you flush it all away.

Time to bring it down again.
Don't just call me pessimist.
Try and read between the lines.
And I can't imagine why you wouldn't welcome any change, my friend.

I wanna see it all come down.
Bring it down
Suck it down.
Flush it down.