Say, would you crackers like to hear about the time I saw the Loch Ness monster?

It must've been about seven, eight years ago. Me and the little lady was out on this boat you see, all alone at night, when all of a sudden this huge creature, this giant crustacean from the paleolithic era, comes out of the water.

It stood above us looking down with these big red eyes.

And I yelled, I said "What do you want from us monster?!" And the monster bent down and
said "I need about 3Fiddy."

I said "I ain't giving you no 3Fiddy you goddam Loch Ness monster! Get your own goddam money!"