There once was a man from Nantucket.
who tried to piss in a bucket.
From off of a wall,
one hundred feet tall.
He missed and he said "aww, f@$k it".

There once was a fellow McSweeny
Who spilled some gin on his weenie
Just to be couth
He added vermouth
Then slipped his girlfriend a martini

A pirate, history relates,
was scuffling with some of his mates.
When he slipped on a cutlass,
which rendered him nutless,
and practically useless on dates.

There once was a man from Madrass.
Whose balls were made out of brass.
When he'd bang 'em together
they'd play stormy weather
and lightning would shoot out of his a**

There once was a man from Bonaire.
Who was doing his wife on the stair.
When the banister broke,
he doubled his stroke,
and finished her off in midair.