One day, I will be a real bio, with a whole set of sentences that are both concise yet evocative, funny yet touching, and with a closing sentence that is so well crafted and speaks so well to the utter truth of the universal human condition that it produces a frisson that cannot be forgotten, and will leave you with a optimistic feeling for the rest of the day as you remember choice passages from it.

However, until I get around writing such a bio, you get this instead.