Help! Help! I'm being repressed!

Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.

When I said 'death' before 'dishonor', I meant alphabetically.

When shooting a mime, don't use a silencer or his friends will hear you.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Without me, it's just aweso.

Depression is just anger without enthusiasm.

I still miss my ex girlfriend, but my aim is improving.

The reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

To err is human, to blame it on somebody else shows management potential.