- I don't suffer from insanity - I enjoy every minute of it.

- Some people are only alive because it's illegal to kill them...(some more then others)

- I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

- Don't take life too seriously - no-one gets out alive...

- You're just jealous because the voices only talk to ME

- Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

- I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing!

- The gene pool could use a little chlorine...

- Procrastinate. Now!

- Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

- They call it PMS because mad cow disease was already taken.

- He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.

- A picture is worth a thousand words....but it uses up three thousand times the memory!

- The trouble with life is, there's no background music...