Hail friend,

I am Nicolai of the city Berunum. Actually it's called Birmingham, but we're simple folk with simple and incorrect pronunciation. Sometimes I think of ways that Bill Murray could infiltrate whatever room I'm in and assassinate me, then ways to counter him. These ways almost always involve a knife and the theme from Mission Impossible.

Once I was asked by a close friend who'd later become an ex-close friend, "Nicolai, you're a dashing fellow but you speak too softly", to which I replied in a whisper "That wasn't a question and I wouldn't come to your funeral if you were hit by a car tomorrow."

It's oft said that I'm something of a griefer, but take worry not my good (wo)man. I'm fucking horrid at anything to do with PVP and therefore avoid it entirely. Whoever told you that is a lying communist.

reddit.com/user/happybadger